a day of joy followed by a day of upsets... *ouch* tat really hurts... did very very badly for national masters challenge today... but well, still got 2 more days to salvage the situation... will put in more effort for the rest of the event... have to really learn how to be independent from now onwards liao...
took a peek at someone's blog when i got home... was shocked at 1st, then upset... i really dun understand y u have to keep comparing urself to anyone... do u really feel inferior to others??? from the time i knew u, u have always given me this feeling... pls understand this: i wanna be real frens wif u but the feeling i get from u is otherwise... i juz feel tat i'm ur fren only when u feel like it... but when u find a target, then out the window i go... dunnno whether u oso treat ur other frens like this... if u wanna compare, then i oso could compare myself wif AD wad... but then i'm not the type to compare frens...
honestly i find tat u r someone who got too much passion... so much tat u give it all over the place... but in the end, u only hurt urself cos u get nowhere/nth from those distributed feelings... u keep telling me tat u have no interest in getting involved for the time being... but let's be honest abt this statement... having no stead n having no interest is totally diff... u shd noe this better than me: feelings tat r showered onto others seldom come back in the same amount ba... but it's ur lifestyle, so i can only offer so much advice ba...
to me, a person's life need not revolve ard bgr wan... i strongly believe tat a life without frens is much more harder than one without bgf... but my beliefs r mine to stick wif; think u shd c it in a much diff way ba... if u cant face up to the real u n do sth abt it, our prob will persist 4va... perhaps in the end, i'll be the one to give up on u cos i feel very unfair tat i'm the one to make the moves ba... tat's y till now, i always tell u the ball is in ur court n i have been hoping tat u wud do sth... unfortunately...
regarding today... i asked u to go wif me to victor's cos 1stly, i needed someone there wif me... but oso i wanted u to c how pple ard ur age r doing in bowling... dun take it the wrong way... i dun want u to feel inferior tat others r so good in bowling tat u shd stop cos u r lousy... i wanted u to c tat wif correct effort, u can be as good, if not better than them... remem tat i told u once tat u had wat it takes to make it??? this talent exists in everyone, though not in the same way n amount... but wat matters is the effort put in to thoroughly exploit the inner talent... juz as u saw for urself... if i gave up thinking i can never get as good as i was when i played spinner, wud i manage to win the masters ydae??? tan eng siong is a very good bowler n i respect him a lot... but if i felt inferior, wud i even try to fight when he was leading me by 30pins after the 5th game??? it was a tough rally btw the 2 of us, esp since we were bowling beside each other... but it was really thrilling n enjoyable to have been able to match him strike for strike... this is oso one of the feeling tat's keeping me in the game... n i want u to go out there n feel it for urself... but i guess it wun happen since u wud end up feeling inferior n give up ba... true??? false??? the answer is up to u to decide...