finally made a few decisions today... decisions tat gonna affect my life from now on ba... 1stly, decided to forgive n forget... trying to learn to look beyond mistakes... things tat pple have done tat pissed me off... not a bad start ba, i wud say... let's juz c how much further i can be upset b4 i decide to end my life... 2nd thing, decided to focus all my energy into my grades for this last sem... wanna get my gpa over 3.5 at least... means no more unnecessary skipping of lessons liao... today was a pretty good start, attended all the lessons though it was only the 1st week of sch... 3rdly, decided to remain passive towards certain things in my life now... though is gonna be difficult, wish i can keep to this resolution 4ever ba... then maybe at least i wun be upset so easily ba... 4thly, today is the deadline for an impt issue... though the cause of my previous resolution has been solved, guess my heart is dead liao... well, the decision i have come to is to only go BP perhaps twice a week from today onwards... if possible, only once a week to get my balls for training... no point staying in a place tat doesnt require my existence anymore... today was another good start... after training, went back to put my balls back... though saw pple playing for money, juz left for home anyways... the last decision i'm contemplating now is whether to continue this pointless blog of mine... cos in the end, i realised tat it doesnt matter how much i put down here... pple r not really interested anyhow... i'll decide by the end of this week, depending on whether pple noe of this update n whether they'd be bothered to ask me to continue... but pls dun ask me to continue juz for the sake of satisfying wat i want... ask only if u r truly concerned...
as my bdae draws nearer, the same old probs come back to haunt me... now i'm juz wallowing in my own pitiful state... sympathizing wif myself, hoping tat things wud be different when i wake up the next day... however, each n every single day, i juz get the same disappointing answers n results... maybe i'm not trying hard enuf??? or i'm trying too hard??? haiz dun even noe the diff anymore... juz noe tat as each day passes by, i juz get more n more upset... y??? i oso dunno... haiz...
There's a limit to everything in this world... everything including rships... when the tolerance is reached, the rship starts to crack... then it's like a crack in a mirror, no matter how much u try to conceal the crack, it wud always be there...