finally had my 1st meal for the past 2 days today... haiz... ate quite full but after tat, din have any more meals liao... not much appetite... then went BP... no one was ard... din bowl at all, then go home ard 10... been doing nth until suddenly got a rush of feelings tat i need to put down in this blog...
until this day, i finally realise tat my best fren is the ONLY person in this ENTIRE world who has been reading my blog consistently... guess pple r not really interested in how others feel ba... at least tat applies to most of the pple i noe... seems like i was blogging for fun... not cos i wanted to let others noe wat i was going thru in life... so where does this bring me??? to deeper depths of hell ba, i guess... as if it isnt deep now... *wahaha*
so many things rushing thru my mind now... only can use vulgarities to express myself but is not legal to do it on my blog... haiz... i dun understand how pple can be so indifferent to how others feel... not expecting them to read everyday but at the very least, read once in a week ba... is tat too much??? beginning to regret i even started to do this blog after i terminated the other... regretting tat i did not stick to not teaching anyone else after AD... regretting i even consider some pple my frens... regretting i consider BP my home ground, going there almost everyday wif the hope of hanging out wif pple i noe... even regretting the simple fact tat i started bowling... so many regrets, so many upsets... so much of so many things but happiness n joy is not in the list... perhaps i shd even be considering whether i wanna continue bowling... not much point left from where i'm standing... lost too much, gained too little... heart too tired, hurt, damaged, wounded... at this point, i'm thinking abt the reason i gave up some of my frens... the reason of having no time... is studies so impt until the point where u cant even spare 30mins to read sth??? i understand it's impt but if u cant even spare 30mins, then do u even stop to eat??? juz feeling my eyes well up again... SH*T!!! time n again, i'm the person sacrificed in the name of studies... guess i'm juz a THING expendable to others... perhaps they r even selling me at the supermarket at a discounted price... maybe buy 1 at 1cent n get free lifetime supply... cos i feel i'm so damn cheap tat pple wud rather be more concerned over things tat could be bought over the counter...
If the definition of a slut is someone cheap, i guess i'm the biggest slut in the world...